Last December at the Arkansas School Boards Association state conference, I had the privilege to hear Jim Kern speak. Kern lives in Spring Branch, Texas and is a highly demanded speaker in the area of esteem-building in children and those entrusted with caring for children (parents, teachers, etc.).
Today, I share with you a story from Jim Kern's book Build the Fort Today that challenges the often-used expressions (excuses) of adults to children: "Not tonight!" "Later!" "I'm too tired!" "I'm too busy!" "Some other time!" or "Wait just a minute!"
The seven year old boy asked his father, "Daddy, could you build me a fort?" and Daddy said that he could. The child's every waking moment was filled with the excitement and anticipation of working on his own fort.
The child was nearly bursting with enthusiasm as his father came home from work the next day. "Tonight, Daddy, can we build the fort?"
"Not tonight, son, I'm just too tired."
On the second night daddy postponed once more saying, "Tonight I have a report to do. I must be finished by tomorrow."
On the third night, Daddy's explanation ws a bit longer: "Son, your mother and I have made a promise to go to a party. Do you understand about promises?" Indeed, the child did understand about promises.
These were followed with other statements to postpone the building, still the child persisted.
On a Friday morning, the child heard his daddy say, "Tonight you hurry right home from school and we'll build your fort." The excitement of a child is indescribable. Not one thing will be gained from today's experience in school as a child thinks only of that moment when he will work with his dad on that special fort.
The bell rang signalling the end of the day. The boy leaped from his desk, bolted out the front door, and maybe he reasoned like this: "I can run all the way home; it's only seven blocks."
With a head full of dreams and happiness, the boy ran as fast as he could, not at all aware of the too familiar world passing by. As he entered the busy road, he looked neither left or right. The truck appeared out of nowhere and the small body was hit. The ambulance took the lad to the hospital emergency room where the first evaluation contained only one word..."Coma."
Dad received the call and he drove recklessly to the hospital, pushed past people to enter his son's room and stood for what must have seemed an eternity at the foot of his child's bed. Father watched as two little eyes opened, a little smile appeared, and a voice just a bit too weak uttered the boy's last words: "Daddy, we won't have to build that fort tonight after all."
The child died.
I believe that the child is okay, but Dad is not okay. Dad is thinner now and he's quieter now. Dad loses his hair in circular patches and when it grows back, it grows back without color. He very likely wonders where to turn for relief from the guilt and the pain. To whom can he say, "I wish I had never postponed those requests?" We may lose daddy, too.
We can learn from the experience of others. I (Jim Kern) have decided that I will never again say to a child one of those delaying responses. Instead I'll be saying, "How long do you think it will take?" When the child says, "Three minutes" or "Five minutes," or "Seven minutes," I'll realize I have as many minutes as the child has requested. What could be more important than spending time with our most valuable resource, our children? (p. 42-43)
"Children are a reward from the LORD" (Psalm 127.3). Parents and grandparents, are there any fort-building projects in your future? Have you been putting off today the requests of your children; requests ultimately born of their heart's desire to spend time with you? What are you waiting for? No investment is so great as the investment of your time and energy in the life of one of those precious gifts God has entrusted to our care.
