Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

From the Christian Chronicle, April 1, 2006 in an article written by Bobby Ross:


Sometimes, the temptation would strike in the middle of the afternoon, while youth minister Steve Holladay worked on a Bible lesson or responded to e-mails from church members.


Like a cocaine addict in need of a fix, he’d close his church office door and drown himself in a sea of pornographic Web sites.


Many other times, he’d wait until his wife, Holly, fell asleep. Then he’d go into another room and enjoy the rush as sexual fantasies filled his mind.


Without fail, though, the high gave way to a low, and he’d fall into a pit of depression and regret. He’d wonder how he — a Christian college graduate, a husband and father of four, an elder’s son, the grandson of preachers — could be trapped in such a ridiculous cycle of sin.


He’d beg God for forgiveness and commit never to do it again.


But deep in his own mind, he knew it was a promise he would not keep.


EASY ACCESS, HARD FALL


For Christians and non-Christians alike, sexual temptation is nothing new.


What is new is the proliferation of pornographic Web sites, available at the click of a mouse.


“It’s just a temptation that previous generations did not grow up with,” said John Bentley, information technology director at Freed-Hardeman University in Henderson, Tenn. “You had to show your face in a store and actually lay a magazine out or a video … and pay money.”


But now, three A’s — accessibility, affordability and anonymity — make porn easily available even to folks who would never subscribe to Playboy magazine or set foot in an adult video store, Bentley said.


Roughly 40 million U.S. adults visit X-rated sites regularly, spending an estimated $2.5 billion annually, according to news reports. But much of the pornographic content online can be accessed for free. Moreover, roughly nine out of 10 children have been exposed to pornography online, according to the U.S. Justice Department.


Beyond that, many hotels sell adult movies — in discreet fashion — to their overnight guests. And soon, full-motion porn video could make its way to cell phones and tiny, portable media players such as iPods.


Bentley, a member of the Campbell Street church, Jackson, Tenn., surveyed church of Christ members on the pornography problem last year. More than 4,000 members, including ministers, elders and deacons, responded to the voluntary survey.


Forty-five percent of men who participated in the survey strongly agreed or agreed with this statement: “I have struggled with Internet pornography as a temptation.” Thirty percent of the males acknowledged viewing Internet pornography on more than 25 occasions.


While the survey results were not scientific, Jackie Halstead, chairwoman of the Department of Marriage and Family Therapy at Abilene Christian University in Texas, said there’s no doubt that porn addiction is prevalent among church members.

“We’ve hardly scratched the surface of the issue,” Halstead said. “Of course, a big part of it is because it’s such a hidden thing. It’s almost come to the point where I’m not surprised anymore when a man — whether a minister or other church leader — says they’ve struggled with it or are struggling with it.”

A PROBLEM FOR MEN, AND WOMEN


As Marnie Ferree puts it, “Pornography is the drug of choice among Christians.”


For many years, the daughter of a minister struggled herself with promiscuity and extramarital affairs. Now, Ferree directs Bethesda Workshops, a clinical, faith-based treatment program for sexual addiction sponsored by the Woodmont Hills church in Nashville, Tenn.


While some see it mainly as a problem faced by men, Ferree suggests, “Women definitely struggle with pornography and other forms of sexual sin — at almost the same rate as men.”

Sex addicts, she said, are people you might suspect — scantily clad women, learing men. But they’re also people you would never expect: “By and large, it affects average people who are in the pews on Sunday mornings and across all socioeconomic lines.”


For Prentice Meador, senior minister of the Prestoncrest church in Dallas, the issue struck close to home when his son-in-law acknowledged a porn addiction and a one-night affair on a business trip.


While his son-in-law and daughter have worked to repair their marriage, Meador preaches often on what he characterizes as “a battle for our souls.”


“It really is the elephant sitting in the pew,” Meador said of the porn issue. “I think the church has traditionally found sex difficult to talk about, and when you get to talking about pornography, we really are pretty silent.”


A WORLD OF FANTASY


By age 13, Steve Holladay regularly led singing at church and helped organize youth activities. He even preached a time or two.


He was the type of teen that adults respected and mothers prayed their daughters would marry.


Or so it seemed.


Even at that young age, Holladay’s addiction consumed him. His family moved often, and the teen retreated to a world of sexual fantasy to deal with the loneliness and isolation he sometimes felt.


“The longest time I ever remember going between episodes was a week at Bible camp,” he said. “Without fail, by the time I was home for a day or two, it was right back with me.”


By age 20, as a Freed-Hardeman student studying to become a youth minister, he started renting movies with sexual themes and nudity. He always watched the movies alone and hid his addiction from everyone.


“This was a totally isolated and separated part of my life, because it was so totally opposite from the rest of my personality,” he said.


“It would be like flipping a light switch on and off. My heart’s desire has always been to please God and be the person he wanted me to be. So, the point when I would turn to this again, it was as if another part of me was taking control.”


A MATCH MADE IN CHORUS


Holladay dated often at Freed-Hardeman and maintained appropriate boundaries in his relationships, believing that God wanted sex to wait until marriage.


He met his future wife, Holly, in the fall of 1990. They sang together in the university chorus.


“I felt like he liked me for who I was and not what I looked like or what he could get from me,” Holly said.


After dating for a year, they married.


Steve felt as if he had found a buried treasure that would make his sexual issues disappear. “Because in marriage, everything is OK and pleasing to God, and all the rest of the stuff will be gone,” he thought to himself.


But not long after the honeymoon ended, his preoccupation with fantasy returned, along with his desire for video stimulation.


To everybody else, Steve seemed like the perfect husband: He was a respected youth minister. When the couple adopted two children and later welcomed two biological children, Steve helped with the housework and bathed the children.


Yet, Holly couldn’t help but feel an emotional distance, a lack of intimacy, “just this whole part of Steve that I couldn’t get to,” she said.


After about eight years of marriage, they entered counseling. Their relationship improved, and they even taught marriage-enrichment classes for other couples. But Holly still sensed that something was missing.


‘REMORSE, GUILT, PLEADING WITH GOD’


Steve’s first exposure to Internet pornography came while working as a youth minister in Kentucky. After accessing porn from his church office a few times, he left a note with a fellow minister before departing on a youth mission trip.


“If your eye offends you, cut it out,” said the note, which asked the minister to disconnect the Internet service in Steve’s office. When Steve returned from the trip, the Internet was disconnected. No one ever asked him about the note.


By the time Steve took another job, as a youth minister in North Carolina, e-mail had become so important that he could not function without the Internet in his office.


Sometimes, he’d go weeks or months without accessing porn.


But then he’d find himself stressed or agitated and succumb to the temptation. (His sins always involved fantasy; he never acted out his desires sexually with another person.)


“I’d log on and hours later recognize what I was doing,” he said.

“There would be remorse, guilt, pleading with God for forgiveness.”


Then it would happen again.


ROAD TO RECOVERY


Four years ago, Steve came across a sexual addiction screening tool offered by Bethesda Workshops. He answered the 20-plus questions, and his score — as he recalls — shot “off the top of the chart.”


Finally mustering the courage to admit his addiction, he picked up the telephone and called Ferree.


He enrolled in a week-long addiction workshop. When he returned home, he confessed his sins to Holly and the church elders, who were supportive.


“More than anything, I was relieved because I knew that was the missing link,” Holly said. “For so many years, it had been this unknown issue. And, a lot of time, I thought it was me, that I was crazy.”


Steve installed filtering software on his computer, developed relationships with accountability partners, and — maybe most importantly — started talking openly about his sins and struggles.


With his wife’s approval, Steve abstained from all forms of sex for 30 days and focused on becoming more intimate with God.


“I’ve gone from feeling totally distant and separate from God to having a very refreshingly intimate and welcome relationship with him,” Steve said.


TABOO TOPIC?


Now a member of the Providence Road church in Chesapeake, Va., Steve leads a ministry called Ultimate Escape.


Its goal: to address addictive sexual behaviors among adolescents.


Ultimate Escape is just one example of a number of efforts among churches of Christ to fight porn.


Meador, the Dallas minister, focuses on the issue at “Weekend of Champions” men’s seminars. Congregations such as the Green Lawn church in Lubbock, Texas, sponsor sexual addiction support groups. The Naperville, Ill., church recently hosted a seminar featuring Douglas Weiss, a self-described recovering sex addict who directs Heart to Heart Ministries, an evangelical organization based in Colorado Springs, Colo.


At Wichita Christian School in Wichita Falls, Texas, teachers address sexual purity, modest dress, Internet chatting and sexual predators in gender-specific Bible classes. Greater Atlanta Christian School in Georgia, meanwhile, has booked officials with the anti-porn site xxxchurch.com to speak to students at a special assembly this month.


But for many in the church, porn remains a taboo topic.


“I talked with the minister of one rather prominent church in the Southeast about supporting the Ultimate Escape ministry, and he was very candid,” Steve said. “He said, ‘For our church to support that, our elders would have to deal with that in their own lives, and they’re not there yet.’”


A NEW LIFE


Since seeking help, Steve acknowledges that he has slipped a handful of times, but he said, “Ninety-nine percent of the last four years has been a very nice recovery.”

For her part, Holly characterizes the marriage as healthy. She and her husband are extremely open, she said, in talking to their children about issues related to sex and pornography.

Their 8-year-old, for example, knows to look away if he sees a risqué magazine cover at the grocery store or to turn the channel if a steamy commercial comes on television.

Steve copies Holly on e-mails he sends to other women, and uses the computer in open view of others. Holly knows how to check the history of sites Steve has visited.

“Once I knew he had been honest with me,” she said, “I felt like I could trust him more than all those years when I couldn’t quite figure out what the problem was.”

As for Steve, he said he feels like he has reached a place of peace. True peace.

“There is a deep intimacy with God,” he said, “that I never thought would possibly occur in my life.”

Keep Silence

The last of the pictures from Thanksgiving Vacation 2007. Above are Mandy and Trae at Sea World on Thanksgiving morning and Tori sitting for her Funny Faces Caricature drawing on our final day in San Diego.

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Last night, I led my Bible class in a discussion of the Spiritual Discipline of Solitude and its accompaying discipline, Silence. In our technologically crazed culture of hustle-and-bustle noise, perhaps no spiritual discipline seems more out of touch than the seeking out of solitude/silence.

“One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel so helpless. We are so accustomed to relying upon words to manage and control others. If we are silent, who will take control? God will take control, but we will never let him take control until we trust him. Silence is intimately related to trust.

The tongue is our most powerful weapon of manipulation. A frantic stream of words flows from us because we are in a constant process of adjusting our public image. We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us that we talk in order to straighten out their understanding. If I have done some wrong thing – or even some right thing that I think you may misunderstand – and discover that you may know about it, I will be very tempted to help you understand my action. Silence is one of the deepest spiritual disciplines simply because it puts the stopper on all self-justification" (Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, 100-1).

Houston Nutt

Okay, you Arkansans have to help me out on this one because since the news broke yesterday that Houston Nutt was leaving, I have been repeatedly scratching my head.

I've read all the newspapers. I've read all the message boards. I've watched that sham of a press conference twice that mirrored a eulogy rather than a resignation.

Here's where I'm flummoxed.

The University of Arkansas paid Houston Nutt $3.5 Million to leave and doesn't hold him to his buyout and within 24 hours, he moves across the border to become the coach at Ole Miss for a contract worth $9.5 Million.

Does that make a lick of sense? Why didn't the Powers-that-Be on the Hill not give Nutt $0 or at least impose a stipulation that he could not become the coach at an SEC West rival in exchange for granting him $1.5 Million above his vested annuities.

The University of Arkansas has to be the only university in history to pay a coach to leave then allow that coach to go to a conference rival for a raise.

I do not hide the fact that I have a passionate interest in college football, but the money involved in these coach's salaries is out of control.

Philippians 2.14 in Perspective

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I would marry you."

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, "Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at him the rest of her life led her to refuse his proposal.

Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote the following note to her: "Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine."

Today before you say an unkind word...think of someone who cannot speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food...think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your spouse...think of someone who's praying to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about your lot in life...think of someone who departed this life far too early.

Before you complain about your children...think of someone who is unable to have children.

Before you argue about your dirty house because someone neglected their chore...think of someone who calls the streets their home.

Before whining about the distance you have to drive...think of someone who walks the same distance on their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job...think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

Vacation, Day Four

A picture of my greatest earthly source of Thanksgiving on this day -- my girls in their shades awaiting Shamu's arrival.

Trae and Tori with a little role reversal on Day Two at Sea World.

Gotta give it up to Tori. She was a real trooper for the first hour on Wednesday. Mom, Dad and Big Sis all wanted to ride the water-ride/rollercoaster, Atlantis. Tori patiently waited out the delay with a lot of singing and chattering and a whole lot of patience.

Shamu is one big dude!

The last stop of the day was the "Funny Faces" caricature drawing. Trae had saved her allowance and good grades money up for a big souvenir and decided on having a caricature drawn for her bedroom. It is a great rendition -- big head, little body, riding on Shamu.

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Finally, on this Thanksgiving Day, I am eternally grateful to God for providence and mercy; to Jesus Christ for love and grace; to the Holy Spirit for direction and comfort; to my parents for the faith foundation they've given me; to my sister and brother-in-law for the blessing of their being able to have children; and to Mandy, Trae and Tori who have made the last week of my life one I will never forget!

Vacation, Day Three

Vacation, Day Two

San Diego Day Two and the Gardner clan enjoyed a full day at Sea World. When Mandy and I lived in Florida, before Trae was born, Sea World in Orlando was our favorite Sunshine State vacation spot. Needless to say, Sea World San Diego did not disappoint. At one point during the day, Mandy noted that the San Diego Sea World seemed much more beautiful to her. We both agreed that the landscaping made the difference.

Here's a shot of Trae, arm extended, feeding one of the dolphins at the Dolphin Encounter.

I was bustin' a gut at this picture of Tori wearing Mommy's sunglasses.

And finally, our day culminated with a special surprise for the girls. Mandy and I surprised the girls by treating them to "Dining with Shamu" a special hour-long dinner show with three of the "killer whales" and their trainers. It was very educational and a neat experience for the girls.

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Hey Allan Stanglin:

On the way over to Sea World on Monday morning, I turned on a little bit of San Diego Sports Talk Radio (XTRA Sports 1360 AM). Guess who the commercial sponsor is at their periodic break? None other than Murray LAMPERT Construction. I laughed out loud when I heard the name and immediately thought of you and ole Larry!

Vacation, Day One

Our San Diego vacation is off to a great beginning! Sunday morning, we worshipped with the Canyon View Church of Christ. It was a blessing to hear their minister, Keith Feerer, speak on the blessings of Thanksgiving in light of the recent fires that ravaged Southern California. I sensed an overwhelming gratitude in the assembly from those most closely affected by the fires.

Following the morning assembly, we hustled over to the world-famous San Diego Zoo. Pictured above are my two little darlings pretending they're back in the south with a little goat-petting in the Children's Zoo.

Had to share this beauty of the girls in front of a mini-waterfall inside the zoo. The landscape and plant life are incredible throughout the zoo. After one afternoon, I can understand how the zoo has earned its designation as "World Famous."

One of the highlights of the day for the girls was the Skyfari, a gondola that takes visitors from the eastern end to the western end of the zoo. We rode it three times and it was a blast, with beautiful downtown San Diego in full view.

Mom and Trae aboard the Skyfari gondola.

Tomorrow is Day Two on our 5-day pass for the Zoo, Sea World, the Wild Animal Park and Legoland. We're taking it day-by-day without any specific agenda other than the creation of memories that will last a lifetime.

Frankly, I can think of no better way to spend Thanksgiving than by forging memories with my girls, the greatest of all my blessings from God!

Thanksgiving

I hope for you and your family a blessed, memorable Thanksgiving. Mandy, the girls and I will be leaving for San Diego tomorrow morning. We've promised our girls a week in San Diego, enjoying Sea World, the world famous San Diego Zoo, the Wild Animal Park, and the wonderful warm San Diego climate.

Wherever your travels take you this holiday season, go there safely, with your mind filled with the many blessings we receive from God.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Simple Life

On Wednesday evenings, I am leading a class through a discussion of Richard Foster's book Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Maturity. The book was given to me and my friends in the Class of '93 by the faculty at Harding and has been a wellspring of insight and depth through the years.

Last night, we discussed what on the surface seems like a pipe-dream in our contemporary culture. Foster's chapter on the spiritual discipline of simplicity is rooted in capturing Jesus's words in Matthew 6.25-34, i.e. the simple life is to be freed from the bondage of worry and anxiety to live abundantly through trusting God to provide.

Foster lays out ten principles that help us simplify our lives:

1) Buy things for their utility rather than their status – Stop trying to impress people with your stuff and impress them with your life.


2) Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you – Simplicity is freedom so refuse to be a slave to anything but God.

3) Develop a habit of giving things away.


4) Refuse to propagandized by the custodians of modern gadgetry – avoid the seduction of that "newer is better."

5) Learn to enjoy things without owning them – Don't buy the illusion that says: ownership=more control=more pleasure.


6) Develop a deeper appreciation for the creation (Psalm 24.1).

7) Look with a healthy skepticism at all “buy now, pay later” schemes.


8) Obey Jesus’s instructions about plain, honest speech (Mat 5.37).

9) Reject anything that breeds the oppression of others.

10) Shun anything that distracts you from seeking first the kingdom of God – it's easy to lose focus in the pursuit of good, legitimate things…but never let those good pursuits become your god.

A Belated Veterans Day Thank You

On Sunday afternoon, high atop Twin Peaks overlooking the San Francisco Bay Area, I was overwhelmed with thoughts of gratitude. Knowing that Monday (yesterday) was Veteran's Day, my mind was full of thanksgiving for the privilege of spending a Sunday serving the Lord and preaching the good news without fear. I was filled with gratitude for the privilege of spending the day with my daughter, making memories and sharing wonderful time together.

And I was struck with the recognition that the freedoms which made those blessings possible were the direct result of men like Sam Laird who spent a portion of his life serving our nation to protect the freedom we experienced on Sunday.

Back in June, when my family was in Arkansas, Sam told me how he had chronicled his experiences in the Army for his children and grandchildren. After returning to Fresno, I was delighted to receive in the mail "Centuryman: My Life in the Army During World War II" by Sam. Sam tells the story of his personal experience while serving in the 100th Infantry Division during the war. It is a gripping memoir and a treasured possession within my library.

While serving the Village church for seven years, I was blessed to work alongside Sam. Sam served as one of our elders for four years and, in that time, taught me by example how to be a true shepherd of God's people. I learned from Sam the value of freedom and how to appreciate that freedom as a means to spiritually impact the lives of others for righteousness.

Sam, thank you. And to all the veterans like Sam who served our country, thank you. Whether your service was in war-time, like Sam, or in peace-time, I appreciate so much your sacrifice for the freedom we enjoy today. The reality of your service and what it offers us in our current time flooded my mind high atop Twin Peaks on Sunday. I am grateful for your service,sacrifice, and the honor it affords me of raising my daughters and worshipping my God in a free land.

Sunday in San Francisco Recap

Sunday was a real treat! Trae decided to join me on the day-long journey to the City by the Bay. We arrived in Pleasanton (home of John Madden) to preach for the Pleasant View church on Sunday morning. Pleasant View is located at the 580 and 680 maze, one of the most heavily traveled sections of freeway in the entire Bay Area. There were 55 in attendance on Sunday morning for the assembly.

From there we made a hurried exit and headed across the Bay Bridge into the city. The Chinese church meets in the University of Phoenix building, located within the shadow of AT&T Park. we could literally see the first base grandstand from the front door! There were 36 in attendance there and though Trae and I misunderstood some...most of the language, we very much enjoyed the fellowship.

We were treated to lunch at the home of Daniel Hung, the minister for the Cantonese-speaking church in the city. Daniel and his family had invited other members of the church to lunch and so a hungry crew of about 25 gathered inside their home to share a meal and fellowship. As we waited to eat, Trae was challenged by some of her new friends to a game of Connect-Four.

Following lunch, it was off to Twin Peaks (pictured above, double-click to enlarge). Twin Peaks in the highest point in the city of San Francisco and provides a birds-eye view of the entire Bay Area. It was very windy and quite chilly but the views are breathtaking.

From Twin Peaks, we made our way to Mitchell's, a must-see Ice Cream place in the City according to Ice Cream connoisseur, John Wiegand. After woofing down some waffle bowl hot fudge sundaes, it was back to Pleasant View for the evening assembly and a look at the elusiveness from hope as conveyed in Luke 24.13-15.

From the start (5:15 a.m.) till the finish (9:50 p.m.), it was a full day but one I wouldn't trade for anything. Three sermons, two churches, wonderful fellowship, and a day with my oldest daughter...life is good...because God is good!

Sunday in San Francisco

It is an honor to preach for the largest congregation of the Churches of Christ, numerically-speaking, on the West Coast. But with that privilege comes a responsibility to minister to and encourage smaller, struggling congregations.

This Sunday marks a unique privilege in fulfilling that responsibility. On Sunday, I'll be in the San Francisco Bay Area to preach on Sunday morning and evening at the Pleasant View Church of Christ in Pleasanton. The church meets at the advantageous cloverleaf of I-580 and 680, one of the most heavily traveled sections of freeway in all the Bay Area. And yet, the small congregation of faithful disciples there struggles with the overwhelming task of how to reach the lost. On Sunday, I'll speak twice on the theme of hope in the hope the Word of God will provide a hope infusion to the church there. Among the triune virtues of faith, hope and love, it is hope that is often relegated to second-fiddle behind faith and love. But it is hope that keeps our faith afloat and it is hope that provide the true motive for love. Sunday, I hope to make hope very, very real to that church family in the face of their awesome, near overwhelming calling to discipleship.

On Sunday afternoon, between the assemblies at Pleasant View, I'll be privileged to speak to an assembly of Chinese Christians in the city of San Francisco. Their assembly is held in the Cantonese language and will require my message to be shared through a translator. After the assembly, Dim Sum is on the menu (pictured above). The Chinese church in the city numbers about 35 and it will be a real privilege to be a part of their assembly on Sunday.

Certainly, I'll miss being at Woodward Park. For the last 15 months, I have met every Sunday with anticipation at each opportunity to speak to the Woodward Park family. I am glad Fresno is home and am glad to be a part of what God is doing in the Central Valley. But for this Sunday, it'll be a privilege to fulfill a responsibility to be a part of what God is doing in the Bay Area as well -- among people of all races and ethnicitys, languages and backgrounds.

C.S. Lewis on Indignation

Of late, my personal reading has been blessed by revisiting the wisdom of C.S. Lewis. Better known in our modern era for The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, Lewis was a scholar's scholar with penetrating insight and wisdom on the Word.

In his Reflections on the Psalms, Lewis's chapter on the imprecatory (cursing) Psalms, such as Psalm 109, was especially interesting. Lewis dares to take on the difficulty of godly men, such as King David, wishing ill, even cursing, upon his enemies.

"The absence of anger, especially that sort of anger which we call indignation, can, in my opinion, be a most alarming symptom. And the presence of indignation may be a good one. Even when that indignation passes into bitter personal vindictiveness, it may still be a good symptom, though bad in itself. It is a sin; but it at least shows that those who commit it have not sunk below the level at which the temptation to that sin exists -- just as the sins (often quite appalling) of the great patriot or great reformer points to something in him above mere self. If the Jews cursed more bitterly than the Pagans this was, I think, at least in part because they took right and wrong more seriously. For if we look at their railings we find they are unusually angry not simply because these things have been done to them but because these things are manifestly wrong, are hateful to God as well as to the victim...This is something different from mere anger without indignation -- the almost animal rage at finding that a man's enemy has done to him exactly what he would have done to his enemy if he had been strong enough or quick enough.

Different, certainly higher, a better symptom; yet also leading to a more terrible sin. For it encourages a man to think that his own passions are holy. It encourages him to add, explicitly or implicitly, 'Thus saith the Lord' to the expression of his own emotion or even his own opinions...The Jews sinned in this matter worse than the Pagans not because they were further from God but because they were nearer to God. For the Supernatural, entering a human soul, opens to it new possibilities, both of good and evil. From the point the road branches: one way to sanctity, love, humility, the other to spiritual pride, self-righteousness, persecuting zeal...If the Divine call does not make us better, it will make us very much worse. Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst. Of all created beings the wickedest is one who originally stood in the immediate presence of God. There seems no way out of this. It gives new application to our Lord's words about 'counting the cost'" (146-7).

Imitators of Jesus

Yesterday's post, complete with Hannah Montana references, elicited a bittersweet email from West Virginia. Yesterday evening, I received in my inbox a message from Charles Jenkins, one of my favorite people in the world! Charles shared this picture of his wife Linda and her opportunity to meet Hannah Montana's dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, in Ashland, Kentucky.

Charles and Linda are two of my favorite people in the world because of the bond we share in their sons. Charles and Linda were blessed to be the parents of two wonderful sons, Jonathan and Matthew.

What caused Charles's email to me to be "bittersweet" was the reminder that nine years ago Sunday, Jonathan passed away. At the tender age of 19, Jonathan was taken from us all too quickly, the result of a tragic accident in a construction zone on I-64 near downtown Charleston, West Virginia.

Just last week, I was revisiting a letter I've held and treasured, written to me by Jonathan back in 1995. I had the privilege of serving as Jonathan's youth minister. I had the privilege of baptizing Jonathan. And I had the honor, painful as it was, nine years ago tomorrow, of officiating Jonathan's funeral.

On that day nine years ago, I shared with the overflow assembly Jonathan's own words, words I still treasure as a calling from a friend and a brother:

I want people to know who I am and what I am all about
Do you know who I am?
An imitator of Jesus...I want to be Jesus!
When people see me, I want them to see Jesus in Jonathan's heart
Can someone say that about you?
Are you humble, patient, compassionate, loving?
Are you Jesus day by day?

We are not perfect, but we strive to be
Do you strive to imitate Christ everyday, in every situation, in every downfall?

I AM MINE NO MORE!

And in his typical signature, it was signed with a cross and a heart and in script, "Jonathan -- 1 Cor 10.13".

Charles and Linda, I know these days bring back haunting memories of an event no parent should ever be required to endure. And know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, then, now and forever. The influence of your son upon others remains an enduring reminder of his tender faith and your skilled, faithful parenting. Though Jonathan is with Jesus now, the story of how Jesus influenced Jonathan still impacts people to this day. Our hope remains steadfast...death doesn't have the last word!

Hannah Montana, C-Dub, and Chick-Fil-A

So if you have little girls in your home, they've likely been bit by the Hannah Montana bug! My girls have and tonight is the night of nights for Trae and Tori. Tonight, my daughters' mom will escort them to the SaveMart Center on the campus of Fresno State University for the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Tour.

I am so grateful to be able to provide this memory for my girls...but even more grateful that their mother didn't demand I escort them on a Monday Night Football evening!!

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Megan Clanton, this is for you. Clovis West beat Clovis High 56-7 on Friday night and secured the #5 seed in the D-1 Valley Playoffs. CW will host #12 seed Stockdale this Friday. A CW win sets up a rematch with #4 seed Bullard.

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And finally, in the best news of the weekend category, Chick-fil-A has opened their first restaurant in Fresno over the weekend! Okay, so it is located in the Fresno State University Student Union, but who cares? Chick-fil-A is by far by favorite restaurant ever, and the favorite of both of my girls! We might have to smuggle a fake ID onto campus to get in, but it'd be worth it!

Rumor has it the Chick-fil-A in the Student Union is the first of several to open throughout the greater Fresno metro area!

Eat More Chikin!!

I Wonder

So did anyone figure out what Malachi 4.1-6 truly means? I received no email responses and I have until 5:00 PDT Sunday to have an answer.

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I felt a twinge of jealousy last evening when I received an email from Deloris Gilbert. She told me how she and Ken had taken part in what has become a Village church tradition of tailgating as a church family before Jessieville football games.

Man, do I miss those! Those are some great memories in my life. Our tailgate parties drew such acclaim from the community that during our last fall in Arkansas, the booster club of the school actually asked our church to lead the playoff tailgate parties.

In my life, those tailgate parties have been replaced by the Downtown Outreach in Fresno. The first Saturday of every month, our group heads down to the corner of G and Ventura Streets in Fresno to feed the homeless.

Tomorrow is the first Saturday of the month so all you Woodward Park'ers are invited downtown to help out. It is a powerful method of living out the way of Jesus modeled for us in his service to the lost and the least.

Hope to see you downtown tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m.

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When it comes to old sermon outlines, preachers generally abide by one of two approaches. Some of my colleagues never save a single sermon outline under the belief that there former thoughts will overly influence their new studies. Others have filing cabinets lining every inch of their office because they save every outline they've ever created.

My approach lies somewhere in between. I like to save my oldest outlines for the giggles they provide in how immature my early understanding really was. But I like to save many of my outlines as a resource when I rework a series. For example, I am preaching through Philippians on Sunday mornings -- something I have done in the past. This week, we are at that most familiar passage in 2.5-11 that many scholars believe is an early Christian hymn Paul included in the text of his letter.

In looking over an older outline of Philippians, I came across a poem from Ruth Harms Calkin that had escaped my current study that asks a most penetrating question:

"You know, Lord, how I serve you
with great emotional fervor in the limelight.
You know how eagerly I speak for you at a Women's Club.
You know my genuine enthusiasm at a Bible study.
But how would I react, I wonder,
if you pointed to a basin of water
and asked me to wash the calloused feet
of a bent and wrinkled old woman
day after day, month after month,
in a room where nobody saw and nobody knew?

2007 Harvest Fest/Trunk or Treat Extravaganza

Last night was a wonderful extravaganza of fun and fellowship at the annual Family Ministry Harvest Fest at Woodward Park. This year, we moved the festivities from the Lane's house to the church property and it was a great success. I counted from memory 220 members who participated, not counting visitors and guest.

This first picture from last night captures my darling daughters. Tori dressed up as Dorienda the Cheetah Girl and Trae dressed up as "Mandy in the Morning."

Dorienda and Macee Boggs exchanging a hug and a smile for the camera.

My favorite picture from last night! Kerry Avedikian, circa 1970, and my beautiful bride.


And finally, Mandy and a hopeful convert.

It was wonderful to hear Trae say last night as we tucked her into bed, "Daddy, this was my favorite Halloween ever!" Innocent costumes, fun fellowship with our church family, loads of candy, and a night of outreach all wrapped together.