Application for Permission to Date My Daughter . . .
1. Name:_______________________
2. Home address:________________________________
3. Date of birth:________ 4. Height:______ 5. Weight:______
6. IQ:______ 7. GPA:______ 8. Boy Scout rank:______
9. Do you own a van?______
10. Do you own a truck with oversize tires and Astroturf in the bed? ______
11. Do you wear an earring, nose ring or belly button ring? Have you pierced your tongue?_____
12. Do you have any tatoos? If so, on what part of your anatomy? _____ (If you answer yes to any part of questions 9 - 12, you may stop filling out this application and leave the premises.)
13. In 50 words or less, what does the word LATE mean to you? _______________
14. In 50 words or less, what does the phrase KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTER mean to you? _______________
15. Answer the following questions by filling in the blanks:
A. When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is her ________. (If your answer begins with an "a," "b" or "t," you may stop filling out this application.)
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my __________.
C. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be shot would be ____________.
I SWEAR THAT THE ABOVE INFORMATION SUPPLIED IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, RED HOT POKERS, OR THE INFAMOUS MOJAVE DESERT ANT TORTURE.
Signature: _______________________
Thank you for your interest in our daughter. Please allow four to six years for processing. Please do not contact our home regarding the progress of this application.
