Can I give you a piece of advice this morning? If Jerry and Lynn Jones are ever in your area to present their Marriage Matters Workshop, run(!) don't walk, to participate! I have been blessed to sit at the feet of a number of skilled marriage counselors: Joe Beam, Paul Faulkner, Carl Breechen, Adrion Hickmon, and Lew Moore among other, but for content and depth, it's hard to beat what the Jones's offer.
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The workshop has been a big boost for Mandy and me and our relationship together. But throughout the workshop, I've been enlightened by a number of parallels between the relationship within a marriage and our relationships within church (see Ephesians 5.22-33 and note how Paul draws on the same parallels).
For instance, last night the Jones's shared one of the unhealthy, unrealistic expectations that destroys marriages, namely, "that my mate should always agree with me and if he/she doesn't, I will change his/her mind." Further, they noted how that stability within a union values the differences and doesn't demand an identical clone in thought.
Their counsel was wise, especially as it relates to "control freaks" like myself. We like things to be predictable -- as we measure predictability within ourselves -- and if not, we set out to change the minds of others in order to produce the predictability we crave.
And yet, as Jerry and Lynn so succintly noted last night, that predictability to control others is simply an illusion.
With that in mind, let me ask you what I asked myself last night: do we, within our churches, ever aim for predictability? Do we ever try to control events within the kingdom in order to make ourselves more comfortable? Why? If so, is that not an indictment on our selfish notion that we can control things when the Lordship of the church is supposed to rest with Jesus and Him alone?
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The Christian Chronicle has an excellent summary of the recent ACU Lectureship, especially the Restoration Unity Forum on their webpage.
I highlight just one quote from the article. "Where the Bible speaks, we speak and where the Bible is silent, we have even more to say" (Rick Atchley).
Might that have something to do with our desire to control and rather than allowing Jesus to be the sovereign Lord?
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Last night as things were winding down at our home, the phone rang. It was about 10:30 p.m. and I've long-since-learned that when the phone rings after 10:00 p.m., it is rarely a good thing.
The voice on the other end was a friendly one, Clyde Berry, one of the new Shepherds of the Village church, with the sad news that Mike Sykora's father, Bernie, had passed away with a massive heart attack.
Nearly eight years ago, I first met Mike and Kim and their boys, Zach and Tyler. Mike was a typical fringe church member. A hard worker as a home construction superintendent for Cooper Homes, Mike's passions were his family and the outdoors. Church? An hour a week was good enough.
But in our seven years together, a friendship developed, not only between myself and Mike but much more importantly, between Mike and Jesus. Kim would later share with us how that she prayed everyday that Mike would grow into the image of Jesus and become the spiritual leader of their home.
About four years ago, Kim's prayers began to be answered and Mike's transformation began. I can say without any doubt, of all the men I've ever known in my life, I've never seen God so work over a heart like he has Mike's. Now a deacon and leader within the Village church, Mike Sykora is a bedrock of faith, a spiritual leader among men, a beacon of faith, and a father to his sons whom I deeply admire.
As we shared together over the phone last night, I became more acutely aware of how truly blessed I am to have a friend like Mike. Frankly, I want to be like Mike...because Mike is so much like Jesus.
I ask you to remember Mike, Kim, Zach and Tyler in your prayers as they make the long journey to Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin to lay to rest Bernie. I also ask that you keep Mike's mom, Fran, in your prayers.
